Trudge has Stopped

I don't want to be here anymore
   Said again
Decades ago I was a danger to myself
Decades ago I had seen too much

Every night a "prayer" said
   To be set free
      To die in my sleep

I just don't want to be here anymore

Caustic Soul

To go back
   Very far back
To a time life seemed permanent
Having a partner
   Having a wife

The attachment to another seems lost 
   She took the hardware

To start again is futile
   I know nothing lasts

I cannot escape this world
   Too many damned times tried

The clarity needed isn't just faded
   It's long forgotten buried
      Map never made

BMD/BDB/BMB

More than fifteen years past
   I still wish from time to time
      You would come back
A ring of my doorbell
   I would answer and ask
      What took you so long?

I dream about you
   Not often nor many times
      But when I wake
         It's like a punch in the face

I know I have lost my soulmate
   I threw away the only one for me
      and have walked alone
         Lost ever since

Katie Mayo

For awhile after we didn't work together,
You were all I could think about.
From day one I wanted you
(But you knew that),
For a time it was teetering on obsession.

God... to touch you,
To smell you,
Dare I wish to kiss you
(I did, and so much more).

Many of nights I went to sleep
Thinking solely of you.
Your fiery hair, your sexy gravel voice,
Your piercing eyes, and what I could only imagine
Of your soft, red lips.

So many times I just wanted
   To come out and say it,
But you were taken, and didn't see
   In me what I saw in you.

A random text last night,
Of course it wasn't what I had longed for.
Back to my memory of you,
A wish to find the door that leads to you.

Meant to be Medieval

I never had a kingdom
   Nor a crown
My Queen left too many
   Darkened years ago

No sword nor shield
   Or enemies to conquer
Not a home to defend
   Or land to graze and tend

Tired old flesh for resistance armor
My mind remains the only weapon
   Not bartered

11

Out of place, out of time.

Everyday through every night

Searching for that hidden door

That leads out of here.

Crimson Jade

Flew too close to the sun,
Played too much in the puddles of rain.
This is my place
   Now.
The fog and darkness that creeps in
   After.

Dense nothingness passing through me.

The things that really matter
   I cannot have--
It only takes two
   To start a family--
Things I threw away.

They never said
   I'd end up like this
Broken, alone, all so cold.