Trudge has Stopped

I don't want to be here anymore
   Said again
Decades ago I was a danger to myself
Decades ago I had seen too much

Every night a "prayer" said
   To be set free
      To die in my sleep

I just don't want to be here anymore

Caustic Soul

To go back
   Very far back
To a time life seemed permanent
Having a partner
   Having a wife

The attachment to another seems lost 
   She took the hardware

To start again is futile
   I know nothing lasts

I cannot escape this world
   Too many damned times tried

The clarity needed isn't just faded
   It's long forgotten buried
      Map never made

BMD/BDB/BMB

More than fifteen years past
   I still wish from time to time
      You would come back
A ring of my doorbell
   I would answer and ask
      What took you so long?

I dream about you
   Not often nor many times
      But when I wake
         It's like a punch in the face

I know I have lost my soulmate
   I threw away the only one for me
      and have walked alone
         Lost ever since